When I first found out that I had severe cervical dysplasia and needed surgery to prevent it from turning to cancer. I was shocked and scared. I had been celibate for several years and have only slept with one man my entire life – my ex-husband. I didn’t realize how common HPV was and I wasn’t expecting to suddenly have any problems with my celibate lifestyle!
As I was preparing for the upcoming surgery, I opened up my Bible and read Isaiah 43:
Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you.
I have called you by name; you are mine.
When you go through deep waters,
I will be with you.
When you go through rivers of difficulty,
you will not drown.
When you walk through the fire of oppression,
you will not be burned up;
the flames will not consume you.
For I am the Lord, your God,
the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.
Shortly after that, a friend happened to e-mail me and ask how I was and through talking, I found out that she was dealing with something sort of similar. We were able to support each other through our struggles. Some wonderful people prayed for me and I made it through the surgery with no complications. I was back to work the next day. My doctor assured me that she got it all and this worked 90% of the time to keep the dysplasia away.
Six months later, I found out that the dysplasia had returned and was severe once again. I was discouraged. I began to wonder if I did something wrong. Did I not get enough sleep? Did I not eat enough vegetables? Is God angry with me? At age 31, I had a hysterectomy to prevent cervical cancer.
I asked God why this was happening to me. I heard a message on the christian radio station, reminding me that life is like embroidery. It may look like a mess on one side, but when you turn it over, it’s something beautiful. Right now, I’m not going to be able to totally understand everything, but it will ok. In fact, it will be something beautiful someday.
The most important thing I take away from going through heartache and pain is that Jesus Christ CHOSE to be wounded so that we could be healed. (See Isaiah 53). He carried our sicknesses and our weaknesses. He went through incredible suffering on the cross so we could be whole. Whenever I start to feel discouraged like God doesn’t care or he’s angry with me, I just need to look at what Jesus was willing to put Himself through to heal me. Whatever happens with our bodies on earth, we will be fully healed and whole in Heaven for sure.
I hope you have been encouraged and blessed. If you want to read more about Christ and being assured of a spot in Heaven, please visit Path to Heaven.